What I've learned this week is rather deep. I was watching a conversation, a 4 hour conversation between 3 of the smartest theoretical scientists in the world the other day. A few things I found very interesting and dad and I have been discussing it. First that relationship is the most important thing in the world. Relationship with God, with others, with ourselves. Second that the only thing that comes between pure relationship is the images that we make about ourselves and others.

They talked about how people are raised to create images about themselves and others. By images I mean points of view that are not real. For example a boy is being raised by his father and is father is manly and tough (that is the image he has about himself) the boy realizes that when he acts manly and tough he gets more attention from his father (now the boy has the image). The part that doesn't work in all this is that the images aren't real. Just because I think that everyone in the world should be like me, doesn't mean it is true.

Another example is the basketball player. He has the image of himself as a basketball player. What happens when he doesn't play like he thinks he should. He fights within himself "I'm better then that" He compares himself with his image and comes up lacking.

The way I look at it, all images, about what we think things should be like, must go. We must let go of the idea that we should become like a God, when we don't know what He is like. When we let go of all images and preconceived notions, then He comes into our lives, because we're no longer telling Him what He should be like. In this way we find Him a lot sweeter, a lot gentler, a lot kinder then we ever could have imagined. By letting go of the idea that our brains know ANYTHING, we can learn EVERYTHING.

Say: I am separate from everyone and everything. How does that feel?
Say: I am a part of everyone and everything. How does that feel?
Say: I am one with everyone and everything. How does that feel?

To Feel separate from others means we aren't seeing God in others, and if not in others then how in ourselves?

The reproductive system is like the mind, it has it's own thoughts and seeks to control the body.

One Morning I awoke with the words "Breathe is intercourse with life" running over and over in my mind. My body was still and peaceful. Breathing can be so natural and feel so good. All that day everything felt soft, the ground, objects in my hands. What if the world is really a soft place and we are the ones who are harsh?

To Know God, is the purpose of Life

Pretend that time has stood still and everyone is frozen by it but you. How would you feel? What emotion comes up first. Like Dr Beckwith says: If you had to stay in your condition forever what quality would you have to learn?

Loneliness is a que that we feel we are seperate from God

Some of Myself

Dear Brother/Sister

Allow me to share some of my life with you. It all started as I was giving blood for the Red Cross. They sat me in a chair and started getting the needle ready to put in my arm. I was reading a book about a women in a hope house. She was depressed, angry, full of hatred toward herself. She lay on the floor because she felt unworthy to lay on a bed. A cockroach crawled across the floor and something happened.

They put the needle in my arm and started fishing around for the vein. I stayed calm and continued reading. The woman watched the cockroach and suddenly something shifted inside her. Suddenly she didn't care about anything. Nothing mattered. Yet everything mattered a great deal and she cared about everyone. She describes it as something woke up inside her. Something that had been asleep for a very long time. It looked through her eyes and breathed through her lungs. Everything was at peace. Everything was bright and beautiful.

The needle was really starting to hurt but I almost laughed because of the peace I felt while reading. "Are you aright?" the nurse said. "Yes I'm fine, it's just the book," I lied. It wasn't just the book. Something was happening to me, right there in the chair and my blood filled the small bag below.

I was finished and I sat down for a cookie, still reading. The woman was home with her family, away from the hope house. She was kind, and quiet. Not like she used to be. She could sit at the window, or out in the desert for hours. She could see God everywhere, in everyone.

I started to drive home and blacked out. When I awoke It was as if I could hear the tires singing on cars far ahead. I was still on the road, still driving, but everything was peaceful and still. I could almost here the objects around me talking to me. My breath was relaxed and easy, my eyesight vivid and sharp as if something else were looking out.

I haven't been the same since. Everything has changed. I sit by myself a lot. When I am with other people I never worry about what they think of me. I am open and caring. To think of anyone as anything other than my friend is impossible. Songs come and I write them down. Words come and I write them down. People feel inspired to meet with me.

Something higher has woke up in me. I think it's my connection with God. I feel Him everywhere. I see Him in others. I don't know exactly what's happened. But it's good. Only peace and love feel natural now. I want to meet everyone in the world and be their friend. 

Dear Brother/Sister, My true friend, I love you. May God bless you on your quest. You are in His hands. He is real. God is real. Let go and trust. That's all that is required. We are His. His hands are ours. Go to work and He'll be waiting.